I don’t know which kills marriage more — being easily angered or compiling lists of offenses. The Bible prohibits both in 1 Cor. 13:5: Love is not easily angered; love keeps no record of wrong.
We mistakenly think we are winning by keeping score. Nothing could be further from the truth. By “winning” we are actually losing — our marriage.
Somebody should pre-package marriage with a warning about its toxicity, and the Centers for Poison Control should be ready to prescribe ample amounts of forgiveness and forgetfulness (in equal measure) as the antidote.
With the toxicity comes a whole of of beauty and fun, but only if you keep the antidote plenteous.
Here’s every element of the series:
- 1 Cor. 13:4
1 Cor. 13:5
1 Cor. 13:6
1 Cor. 13:7
1 Cor. 13:8
Married couples fall into the trap of expecting their spouse to be kind and reserving any show of kindness until then. This is path to divorce.
Remember when you were in love? No mountain was too high, no sea too stormy. You spent time thinking up new and fantastic ways to be kind to your beloved.
People tend to “let their hair down” around family, which means they’re mean. Oddly, with strangers they’re nice. Reverse this and be nice to family. Be tender to your spouse.
If you will simply be kind (even if your spouse “doesn’t deserve it”), you could set your marriage onto a path towards renewed happiness.
1 Cor. 13:4 says: Love is kind.
Here’s every element of the series:
- 1 Cor. 13:4
1 Cor. 13:5
1 Cor. 13:6
1 Cor. 13:7
1 Cor. 13:8
is your wife. Don’t look elsewhere. Swoon your wife like you once won her when she was your girlfriend.
Silence the naysayers. Pic from Pinterest
I wanted to do a creative writing magazine in high school. One classmate told me I wouldn’t be able to do it. She didn’t believe in me. That piece of discouragement inspired me to carry out the project.
Every time I hit roadblocks and her got frustrated with lack of progress, her memory kicked in and gave me the energy to keep working. I had to prove wrong. Thanks for the demotivation!
Criticism hurts. But it can be turned into a help. The fact of the matter is doing good is taxing. It requires stick-to-it-iveness, boring hard work, and self-denial. What keeps you in the uphill battle? It could be someone encouraging you. And — strange as it may sound — it could be someone discouraging you.
Don’t let them put out your fire! Pic from Pinterest
The human psyche is marvelously complex. Downers can pump you up. You can pull-off a fantastic reversal. You can’t stop people from mouthing off. But you can turn their poison into your passion.
I was very happy to see my couple of poems featured in that magazine. So were other kids. I didn’t hear anymore from the girl who didn’t think I would finish it.
Posted in inspiration
Tagged Christianity, church, creative writing, demotivation, goals, God, happiness, Jesus, ministry, motivation, pastors, people, psychology, publishing, self help, success, writing
I posted a challenge to the existentialists. No one every responded. Maybe they don’t think I exist.
When I posted a challenge to the atheists, they responded with fury. They are a jolly group of friends, nice guys, all of them.
I have discovered that WordPress is a great place to make friends. I am impressed by the sincerity of people. Y’all are so heartfelt.
One of the things I enjoy with friends is sharing coffee. The Native Americans smoked the peace pipe. Some people share a beer. I savor coffee. It’s my way of bonding, a ritual for communicating how much I value the person.
Throughout 2012, I have had some wonderful conversations with you blogger friends. We have shared in struggles and triumphs, joys and depressions. But I’m afraid inviting you to coffee in Santa Monica would be seen as creepy, so have a coffee in wherever you are to friendship!
These are this year’s students.
Not this year, but last, I had a class in which no one had ever been to the library. Everything is on Internet, right?
They assured me I was wasting their time. Nonetheless, to the library I took them, and the poor librarian had the devil’s day trying to persuade them that more information is actually in books. (You’d think she were describing cave paintings from the reaction of those kids.)
Add some color to your drab life!
So here’s the college-preparatory secret: to do real research, you’ll have go to the library. Good ol’ wiki doesn’t cut it. There actually is stuff worth learning that requires you to get off your bu** — um, bottom — and pay a buck for the bus. You’d be surprised what you’ll find when you break out of your comfort zone.
You’ll be surprised what you find in the depths!
You might discover there’s worthwhile stuff in the Bible. Yeah, like how to reach maximum happiness (have a successful marriage, for example!) in what they used to call the “Good Book.” Nowadays, they call it the “Hate Book,” I think.
Don’t hate the Bible! It’s still good and got great stuff useful for your life here on Earth! And, yes, it also talks about life after Earth, in case you’re interested! Break out of your comfort zone and crack the Bible today! Read a bit. Ask God to give you the revelation as to what it means. Start with Mark; it’s the story of the Main Dude in the whole Bible.
Posted in books, inspiration
Tagged Bible, Christianity, God, happiness, Jesus, joy, Libraries, Library, Mark, marriage, research
Thanks Deviant Art for the stunning photo!
Your life is being poured out.
On what? Paul poured his life out for others… for something of eternal value. But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you – Phil. 2:17 NIV.
Today many are pouring their lives out on the pursuit of material goods. Others on the pursuit of health. For partying. For sport. For pleasure. For enjoyment. Lives are constantly being poured out.
Each man chooses to pour out his life on what he esteems most valuable. The number of days are finite. Through improved health, we may extend our lives. Even so, it will eventually end. When you are done, what will your life have been poured out on?
Will it be something worthwhile? Nobody wants to think about the last drop. But wisdom is to think about it before we get there.
Posted in Christian, inspiration
Tagged death, end of life, God, happiness, Jesus, life, poured out, purpose, success, suicide, value, value of life, worth
That’s what Newsweek called millennials in July. It’s makes me sick.
The premise is all wrong. Millennials — the latest generation — are NOT going to achieve the home or lifestyle of their parents. For the first time since WW2, a shrinking middle classmeans kids won’t exceed
Hey! Wipe that smile off your face! Newsweek says you can’t be happy!
previous generations in material wealth.
So they’re screwed, Newsweek says. As if money were the key to happiness.
Why does no one question the premise??? Money is NOT the key to happiness. We can be happier than
That’s much better! Cry for less money!
our parents with less money. It’s okay. It’s not the end of the world.
The artist is happy, though nearly starving, because she does what she loves. The humble blogger is happy, though not a famous author, because he does what he loves. Happiness derives from family, from marriage, from a
Ok, seriously, go ahead and enjoy life.
satisfying usefulness in life, from a passion pursued. But the media hammers incessantly that bucks bring joy. There have been millions of miserable millionaires.
Do what you love and don’t buy the line that you should be unhappy just because you have less. It’s baloney!
The Master said: Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions — Luke 12:15 NIV.
Posted in Christian, Financial Talk, inspiration
Tagged find happiness in Christ, Generation Y, happiness, Luke 12:15, millennials, money, Newsweek, Pew Research Center, screwed generation
Plastic surgery still can’t compete with plastic?
You might want to live for something truly worthwhile.
Success depends on putting up with interminable outrages.
Dash the the notion that success is 99% perspiration, etc. — hackneyed axiom.
People fail at marriage because they can’t take it anymore — only to remarry and have similar or new intolerable problems. People quit church because of ill-treatment — only to find new roughness at another, or worse, stop going altogether.
But success at personal relationships — which accounts for probably 90% of our true happiness — depends on the ability to overlook and/or forgive offenses. This life ability is not taught in our schools or lauded in our culture, which values only genius and has the patience of a subatomic particle.
The Bible, widely discredited in today’s world, has incredible wisdom for us nevertheless that, if we could open our minds enough to ignore the nay-sayers for just a little, would help us in the area we most need. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, PATIENCE… – Gal. 5:22 NIV. After these greats (love, joy, peace) comes the much-maligned, oft-overlooked quality of patience. If we could have more patience, we would stop blowing up our lives.
Calling it quits is no solution. It’s running away. It doesn’t solve any thing. We need to recover the stick-to-itiveness of previous generations. America became great in part because of perseverance, not the current-day cry-baby syndrome.
So what do you call a person who doesn’t put up with trash from anyone? Answer: lonely.
Posted in inspiration, Marriage
Tagged 99% perspiration, abuse, bear, forgiveness, Gal. 5:22, happiness, marital, marriage, outrages, patience, put up with, success, successful marriage