Clumsy prayers


Now happily married for 22 years.

I had three girlfriends. They broke my heart.

Then I had two girlfriends — at the same time. I broke their hearts. I think I was trying to get some kind of weird revenge, unconsciously. But I didn’t feel good about it. As a Christian — a lukewarm one — I knew that what I was doing was wrong. So either way, whether my heart got broken, or I broke hearts, I felt bad, really bad.

With our daughter

Finally something good happened. I got disgusted with the whole darn dating scam and quit totally. I prayed: God, I don’t want to have anything to do with girlfriends anymore. Just drop down from the Heaven my wife so that one day I’ll open my door and there she’ll be. The prayer contained more bitterness than faith.

The whole family today

A year and a half later, I opened my door, and there was Dianna. How she wound up there is a story for another blog. Clumsily, I had stumbled on a truth: You can trust God even for the finding of the ultimate match-up. Also: Prayers don’t have to be perfect. Clumsy prayers are better than no prayer.

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