How to overcome low self-esteem


self esteem lessons

By rigorously defending the key, we forced abler opponents to take outside shots, where they weren’t as strong.

No critic was severer of me than me.

Virtually friendless in high school, I lacked confidence and avoided the risks that would lead me to success. But through the years, I have fundamentally changed (though not totally). Here’s how:

becoming a winner

Zach was the beast on the court. I did what I could to help win.

1. Discover your unique giftings. Eventually I discovered that I did have strengths and gifts, though these were not appreciated by anyone or registered by any test designed to show strengths. This is a Biblical truth: God has NOT made person void of some talent.

Just like parts of a car, you can’t do without even one of them. The car will break down. Each part is critical to proper functioning. Through the years, I saw that I was no exception to this rule. I was valuable and realized God made me with special giftings for my special calling.

Critics may focus your deficiencies. They are blind to your abilities. Too much attention paid to other people can deflate your self-esteem.

loser winner2. Turn around the toxic environment wisely, as best you can. It’s downright discouraging being surrounded by people who drag you down. What can you do? Appeal to your family members to look at positives more than negatives.

I turned around the nay-saying non-family by repeating back to them what they were saying to me. When someone criticized me, I criticized me in the same way. And they were horrorized to hear my self-criticism. It was as if I raised up a mirror to their faces, and they saw how ugly it was what they were doing. They stopped.

3. Don’t try to be something you’re not. Accept yourself for who you are. If people don’t like the fact that I’m sensitive, that’s fine. I’m not going to pretend to be something different. If they don’t like it, then I’ll look for friend elsewhere. Find friends who appreciate you for what you are.

These lessons of life came to the surface with my recent participation in a basketball tournament at the school where I teach. Basketball is not my game, so I tried to get out of it. But my friend, Zach, really wanted me — because he’s a true friend, not because he wanted to win.

Would you believe we wound up winning the tournament. I didn’t believe I had talents for basketball but I used what I had, and Zach did the rest. I’m learning to be less of a self-critic.

16 responses to “How to overcome low self-esteem

  1. Good advice! I especially like parrotting back others’ criticisms of us. Will try that.

  2. RozezandAngelz

    Working on it and hoping for the best. I like the basketball tie in 🙂

  3. It was this very struggle that led to my blog, Victories and Gratitudes (www.victoriesandgratitudes.wordpress.com), thanks to some encouraging friends who MADE me begin listing, and saying out loud to myself, the good things that I had accomplished. God’s word says to encourage one another daily, and to build each other up according to [each others’] needs. Though He doesn’t want us boasting, it is inappropriate and unbecoming of the princes and princesses we are in Christ to not acknowledge our gifts and value. He considers us of greater value than His Life itself!

    Blessings to you as you and your readers continually discover your great worth in Christ!

  4. Sometimes we find it easier to appreciate others than ourselves. He has made us all unique with many giftings. When we appreciate and love ourselves, others will too. Thanks for your post.

  5. Reblogged this on A Christian Warrior and commented:
    Amassing story and a deep thought, thank you

  6. When I would share the words of my inner critic with trusted people, they would tell me to stop being my own worst enemy. No one was harder on me than I was! Then, someone told me to try talking to myself the way God might do, as a loving Father. What a change in perspective! I didn’t believe God would talk me down the way I was doing, and I don’t do it anymore, either. It reminds me of a drawing I used to see, of a freckle-faced little boy with rumpled hair. The caption read, “I know I’m special, ’cause God don’t make no junk!”

  7. Most people face difficulties in overcoming low self esteem. Though many desired to endure the process that would help them improve their sense of self worth, only few of them succeeded in doing so. This process works gradually and requires a lot of practice, patience and determination. And enduring this might be tricky and perplexing. Because the more you struggle to fight against low self-esteem, the arduous it will be for you to get rid of your old self-provoking thoughts

  8. concretesummer

    Dear,,

    Hi.. please introduce myself,,I am Cho Ryeon Hwang, Asian,24 years old. I am unemployed. I have been fired from the job I was in twice. I can hardly find any other job bcs of my bad working experience on my cv.
    Since then, I realized that I am a slow learner. I was fired bcs I did mistakes for so many times and didn’t understand the instructions properly.

    Well, I have big problem with learning new thing. I used to be a very hardworker but still there always be some flaws on my work. My supervisor always mad at me like, “I’ve said it so many times!”. They did right thing. I didnt blame my previous supervisors who fired me. All I am blaming is my ability of learning and understanding.

    Because of this,I know my weakness well. This leads me to have a terrible feeling when it comes to talk to someone, I’m always getting nervous and panic when I have to explain something. That’s one of the reason why I got fired. I have bad communication skill. Why, because I am afraid if I’m doing wrong.

    Ever since the last day of my working, I haven’t applied for any job yet. I have traumatic feeling about getting fired. My mom always scold me and asking why I’m not looking for another Job. In fact, I never told this to anyone before include, (especially) my parents. I told them that my contract was terminated because I had to handle another job outside my Job desc. I didn’t tell them the honest reason.

    I can’t even share this to my bestfriends bcs they are the people I am envy with. They are the people I wish I could be. They are now having good position in their company with good salary. I feel so much intimidated when we go out for cinema or just hanging out,, they’re all proudly spending their self-earn money and sharing their working experience. Meanwhile, I am still using my parent’s money,, and the leftover money from my last salary.Things are getting harder for me when they ask what my daily activities are. In fact Im just doing nothing at home.

    I keep telling lies to everyone. I am really afraid to tell the truth and to be judged. Having myself as a slow learner has already become the most hurtful thing I have to face.

    Now I am fighting so much againts my own anxiety and low self esteem. I am so afraid what if I never get a proper job.
    I am really expecting for you to do me a favor about what to do? What am I supposed to do ?
    I am so much thankful for your help..

    Best Regards
    Cho Ryeon Hwang
    (초련황)

  9. Reblogged this on Sisters' Keeper and commented:
    There are times when I have these bouts where nothing seems to be right. I loved how this article and the follow up to it gets right to the heart of the matter.

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