Can we just stop hurting people who come to church to heal their hurts?

I don't own the rights to this image. I got it from I'm not making money on it.

I don’t own the rights to this image. I got it from I’m not making money on it.

All over the blogosphere, and talking to people outside of church, I find people who have been hurt in the very place where they should’ve been helped.


Honestly, we look more like the Pharisees than Jesus, who ate with tax-collectors and stopped stone-throwing at prostitutes. Of course, the Bible points to a moral standard that must be upheld by the church, but many times it’s simply a pastor’s ego, a leader’s power trip, that offends.

If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea — Matt. 18:6 NIV.

I haven’t left the church. I wish and pray to see the church changed.

36 responses to “Can we just stop hurting people who come to church to heal their hurts?

  1. Amen….Some people come to church every time and are hurt when they walk in. And when they walk out they are still hurt.

  2. Thanks for talking about this. It’s very sad, but also says something about the power we do have as Christians to help people heal, to know the love of Christ.

  3. This is one of the reasons I stayed away from church most my life. I was such a mess and some church people made me feel like I wasn’t good enough to be there. Thankfully the right person came into my life about the same time I found Jesus and steered me to attend church and I found the church I attend now which welcomed me with open arms never judging, just loving me like Jesus would.

  4. I agree, I feel so offended, God forgive me, I don’t go, wish I knew where I could be accepted!

  5. Maybe part of the problem is that the church has changed. It has become, in some instances, nothing more than a social gathering rather than a place to worship, sing praise, thank God for looking beyond our faults because of what Jesus did for us. I am proud to say that my church preaches the word of God as truth. We talk about sin, but we also talk about forgiveness. I would love to welcome you into my church. As you say we all have made mistakes,but Jesus showed us how to live and love everyone. Every church is in this vulnerable situation because we are all in need of forgiveness.

  6. As the saying goes, Hurting people, hurt people. The Body of Christ is a broken body. Yes, we are growing, learning, and hurting and healing. It is all part of a process. If we don’t recognize that we are a broken people needing healing and help, then we will always be angry at the church or find excuses to leave or even turn around and hurt someone else. The thing is, many people who do the hurting don’t even know they are doing it. All they see is how they have been hurt. It is a vicious cycle that can only be healed and restored by God when we start to ask Him and deal with ourselves first. It is a very hard place to begin but the end result is that we will have a new freedom in Christ and a new perspective on how to react to hurt. Christ didn’t come for the perfect and healed person. He came for the broken and imperfect.

  7. I’ve just left again it is too painful to be ignored when showing your feelings, I’ve tried to speak to people in the church about prayer and healing but they do not have time for these things and just say I have to go outside to get healing as they are not equipped. It is not an isolated incident either.

  8. It’s an interesting and unfortunately pertinent topic. I’ve seen this first hand. However in the end we must realize that we are all broken. No one here is perfect, even ‘church people’ if you know what I mean. I think the devil likes to use this to turn us against going to church. It’s an effective tactic. This is a good post and I’m glad you shared it. God please give us the grace to look past our hurts and worship you with everything we’ve got! 🙂

  9. Wow I left a church that the pastor and leaders were so legalistic and inconsistent with their rules and regulations. it was too much for me to handle. Im glad you choose to stay

  10. It’s definitely a big issue. I don’t have any answers but I, too, read posts of people who have turned away from the church after getting hurt.

  11. 🙂 If we could only see that we all fall short…(sigh)… My church is no different. When the minister preached that we should love all people the other week, a friend from church called me to find a another person to take her side and I didn’t–I agree that we should open the doors and welcome all into His presence but too many want to check credentials and bar those who they don’t agree with from entering.

    You have touched on my pet peeve. We should act more like children with no animosity or prejudice… 🙂 Blessings.

  12. I was thinking this week how if members of the church were to be more like a nurse when they go to church, we would have a totally different towards those who are hurting; it becomes more about others rather than about us, as if we are mere “consumers” in the church.

  13. Sometimes I look around me at church and can see people alone who are clearly in pain. And then I see those other, way too many of them, who just sit there with expressionless faces. If only we can show why we are there on our faces. Smile. Look happy. That in itself can be healing to others.

    Thanks for following my new blog.

  14. Yes, I have been trying to wrap my brain around the fact that I see just as many people hurting each other in the church as out in the world. It isn’t suppose to be like that. I guess the devil is doing his best to cause at much dissension and disrupt as he can in our churches today.

  15. Amen to that. Sorry for the reference to an Egyptian god.

  16. This is exactly why I left one church awhile ago. They were not supportive, mainly judgmental. Churches need to lead people towards them, instead of scaring them away! Profound truth and you live the way Jesus would wish us all to live, may I add. Thank you!!

  17. “Love one another as I have loved you.” It’s so simple. Why don’t we get it?

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