Daily Archives: March 11, 2015

Due to my personal ruling, we won

Lighthouse Christian Academy teachers | Santa Monica

I’m in the red sweat pants. And Zach Attack is frustrating Raymond.

You see, they need to give old guys like me a five point handicap. We lost 6-3 (one point per basket) playing against the former UCLA quarterback who passes himself off a laidback teacher at Lighthouse Christian Academy. I mean, that’s fair, right? A 47-year-old going up against this stud?

They call him Zach Scribner, but from now on I’m calling him Zach Attack. The game was like a twig trying to hold back a tsunami. Zach was quicker, stronger, sharper. He could score at will, block at will, rebound at will. The only reason the humiliation wasn’t worse is because Zach didn’t even try. Dude, I’m looking at the after-game pictures, and this young punk is smiling as if he’s on a stroll with his baby and wife in the park.

Lighthouse Christian Academy

Look at the air Zach Attack is getting! He could’ve jumped over all 6’3″ of me. Is that fair?

Meanwhile, I’m huffing and puffing chasing kids around. No fair.

I don’t think my teammate is very happy with me. Raymond LOVES basketball. A student from China, he’s come to sharpen his skills agains the L.A. boys. He couldn’t have had a worse teammate.

So I’m the oldest teacher at LCA, so I’m invoking my seniority and over-ruling my boss, the principal. And I’m announcing through this medium, that my team won and we advance to the next round of LCA’s teacher-student 3-on-3 mixup annual basketball tournament. I’m going to win by decree.