Ashley Johnson’s struggles with drugs began when her mother was four-years-old in a barn being raped. That was the beginning of the cycle of destruction, depression and despondency.
Years later, when mom was pregnant with Ashley, the devil tormented her with suicidal thoughts, Ashley says on a YouTube video. Eventually, Mom got saved and kicked the devil out of her life.
But before that, mom was an alcoholic and left little Ashley to stay with grandma, who took her to church.
Her first touch from God came when she was nine. After participating in an evangelistic play as one the main actors, she answered the call to the altar.
“I realized Jesus was real,” she says. “I remember being super excited and standing outside of the church and telling everybody how good God is.”
Nevertheless, she says, she didn’t accept Jesus yet. She only felt God.
“I didn’t pray that prayer (of salvation),” she says. “Everybody prayed it for me. But I did not make Jesus Lord over my life. He did not save me, but He did call me.”
As she grew up, she felt insecurities; especially that she was the only child who didn’t have a mom actively involved in her life. Unlike the other kids brought to church by their moms and dads, Ashley was brought by her grandmother.
“I grew to hate church,” she says. “I became very embarrassed. I was very insecure about a lot of things. I was a very shy and timid kid.”
Evil things started happening in her life, and in response, she rebelled. It came to the point that grandma couldn’t handle her, so Ashley was sent to her parents to live.
“I didn’t want to go live with my parents,” she says.
Her parents were alcoholics, and Ashley fell out of church attendance.
At a party at age 11, Ashley got drunk and high for the first time.
“When it kicked in, I was like whoa whoa whoa. I didn’t know what it was like to be drunk,” she says. “That night, I almost got eaten by a dog because I tried to leave. I almost got shot by a gun. I woke up the next morning, and I was wearing this guy’s boxers. He had to be in his 30s at the time. He had his arm wrapped around me.”
Depression overtook her by the time she entered junior high.
“I would look out the window and imagine dying. I was so depressed and suicidal,” she says. “I was just a very miserable kid.”
The world’s answers — partying, experimenting with drugs, skipping school — did nothing to help the fundamental reason for the agony in her heart.
“I was a pretty wild child by the time junior high rolls around,” she says.
In high school, she dated a drug dealer. Read the rest of kick crack