I wouldn’t be caught dead with a Bible in the streets. The kids at school would never let me live it down. So, when it comes time to go to church, I’m always forgetting it, even though Dad scolds me. You see, there’s a short window of opportunity, when we go from the car into the church, that I could potentially be seen on the street by one my classmates. Then it would all be over.
Actually the Bible-forgetting lends itself perfectly to a major goal in life that I have – to get an iPhone. I keep telling Mom that I could download the Bible onto the iPhone, and then I would never forget it for church. So far, Dad and Mom keep using lame excuses like we don’t have enough money. So I’m going to keep dropping hints and pressuring until I wear them down. Mom, will be the first to break. Then, Dad won’t be able to say no to her.
You aren’t even hardly a person if you don’t have a cool smartphone. The other day in Sunday School, the teacher slid an iPhone across the table so that one of the older kids could call the main teacher. We hadn’t noticed his iPhone before. There was a collective “Ooooh!” when we saw it.. After class, a lot of the kids circled around him and wanted to see his phone and chattered a bunch with him. His rating with us kids just went way up.
Why don’t parents understand important stuff like this? Dad scowls and says a phone is for making calls. He doesn’t understand that things like status and image are important to us. If I had an iPhone maybe even Rose would notice me. But as it is, I’m a bottom-dwelling fish, doomed to uncool by uncool parents.